Did Skylab fall in your 12th House?
--- A Chicken-Little Update ---
MA: The other part
fell, then, in her 9th house? SH: Zap! Right next to natal
Jupiter and Neptune. She fled the country to avoid creditors for awhile,
and wrote a metaphysical best‑seller novel. Returned and paid all her
bills! MA: And you were off
and running with a new theory. SH: You bet. And it
made sense. After all, astrologers have discovered that the asteroids and
fixed‑stars have relevance, so why not the artificial satellites?
They are cyclical, many are visible, and they are very close to us, MUCH
closer than anything else. MA: But there are so
many of them! SH: (sigh) Yes, even my
love of details was taxed. Eventually, though, I discovered the
'nullifying' principles, and by using Fourier Analysis, have been able to
compile a reduced ephemeris of 1440 Most‑Energy‑Significant‑Satellites,
which I call MESS. MA: Good grief! What
does a satellite natal‑chart look like? SH: They're gorgeous!
Eight by twelve feet, covers a whole wall. The aspect matrix covers two
walls. Transits, your ceilings. If you're into relationships, though,
you'll need a bigger house. Or choose the 'condo' option. MA: I see. What do you feel is the primary
thrust of satellite astrology? SH: Absolutely perfect
prediction, and control, of earthly events. Timings to the microsecond. A
hot tip: buy stock in atomic chronometers. MA: What's the biggest
problem with satellites? SH: Confusion,
hypertension, and anxiety. There are about 12,000 major aspects each day,
and satellite cycles are much faster than,, say, the moon or mercury, which
USED to be the 'quickies' of the sky. Humans are definitely having trouble
adjusting to these. rapid fluctuations. MA: What do you
recommend? SH: Get a satellite‑relocation
chart! Move to where things are less chaotic. MA: Where might that
be? SH: The North and South
Poles are pretty good. But the Moon and Mars would be best. (laughs). MA: Well, Mountain
Astrologer is excited about breaking wind of this exciting new development
in astrology. By the way, are the satellite‑transits of the moment
done yet? SH: Yes! Let me see ...
of this 'basic' run, there are 432 airs, 216 waters, 360 fires, 288 earths,
and 144 non‑zodiacals. That's an extraordinary harmonic, a Grand
Mercurial! Hey! Here's a key 34‑way trine involving French, Swiss,
and American satellites, certainly auspicious for a dinner party of twelve
with bread, cheese, and wine. Oh‑oh. Here's a 23‑part square
involving Soyuz‑11, Cosmos‑4 and Mir‑7 in the 12th;
better check for hidden mikes in your office! And... MA: That's certainly good to know, Sir Henry. Can
you send us a copy of these transits? And your basic Satellite Ephemeris? SH: No problem! Free of charge, you just pay for
shipping. Weight's 331.4 pounds for key transits, 927.1 for the '89‑'95
ephemeris/aspectarian. What's your FedEx account number? Did
Skylab fall in your 12th house? This is the question posed by Dr. Henry
Tunahuna, an astrophysicist/astrologer in Lemraka, Micronesia. When Dr.
Tunahuna first began asking that question twelve years ago, the results
were so astounding that he began research into Satellite Astrology.
Recently, Mountain Astrologer got wind of his Satellite Ephemeris project,
and we knew something exciting was its the air, so we asked our West Coast
associate, Percy Alan, to contact him for a telephone interview (via
satellite, naturally). MA: Hello, this is Mountain Astrologer
magazine...is this Dr. Henry Tunahuna? SH: My friends call me Sir Henry. Just a minute,
please; let me check aspects for this moment. MA: (after five minutes) Sir Henry, you must have
a slow computer! SH: (sigh) Yes, it's an old Cray/1, and there are
thousands of satellites up there. Plus, a new one was launched this
morning, and two came down yesterday, according to my main 180‑foot
dish antenna. MA: Pretty elaborate astrology setup you have! SH: Oh, it's not mine. I run the satellite
tracking station here, for the U.S. government. MA: Doing astrology research ??! SH: Of course. Nancy and Ronnie needed to cover
all possible angles, you know. MA: Surely you are jesting.. SH: Not at all. In
fact, a great many satellites are quite empty, and put into orbit just for
the EFFECT they will have. Why else do you suppose the 'launch window"
is often so narrow? When George senses the economy starting to slow, or
Nancy needs a little help for hubby ...whoosh! And, every polar‑orbit
satellite that the Ruskies put up must be countered by an equatorial one of
our own. The "crossing‑square' effect serves to nullify, see? MA: This is
overwhelming news. But let's go back to the beginning. How did you discover Satellite Astrology? SH: Skylab fell, and ‑‑‑ bonk! ‑‑‑
another Newton's Apple. I saw it fall, right in Pisces, my natal 12th
house, smack on my natal Jupiter. Immediately I sensed I. had become both
telepathic and clairvoyant. Also, an old ulcer flared up. MA: How did THAT correlate? SH: It didn't at first; but then I learned that
Skylab had broken into parts, and ANOTHER part had fallen in Virgo, below
the horizon! MA: In your 6th house, of course! SH: Exactly! Conjunct my natal Saturn and Moon! MA: Classic! And then...? SH: Well, of course, I am a man of precision, so I
needed more verification. I called several astrologer friends. Two of them
had enormous inheritance windfalls, and the pieces fell, naturally, in
their 2nd and 8th houses. Another I was unable to reach, as her phone had
been disconnected for non‑payment. MA: And that correlated also? SH: Absolutely. Third
house, on her natal retrograde Mercury; Saturn, of course, was transiting
her 2nd house then.
